Just As I Am by Cicely Tyson with Michelle Burford

It's fitting that Aretha Franklin's version of Mary, Don't You Weep started playing in the background as I began this review because Aretha was a dear friend of Ms. Tyson and because I found myself crying unexpectedly as I finished her memoir. And I say unexpectedly because I shed no tears when her death was first announced. In my mind, she'd lived a long and fascinating life and deserved to rest in eternal peace. So why did wrapping up her book move me so much?

The first time I saw Cicely Tyson I was in the second grade and she was on my TV screen playing Binta, the mother of Kunta Kinte. I didn't know who she was, but I knew her hair was like nothing I'd seen on TV - Bantu knots she asked her hairdresser to replicate in homage to women she'd met in previous travels to countries in Africa. There were so many stars in Roots: OJ Simpson (back when we still claimed him), Maya Angelou, Leslie Uggams, Ben Vereen, etc. But Ms. Tyson's portrayal stood out.

Immersing herself in her roles to the point where she wore her characters like a second skin was the norm for her. From the raspy voice she took on in her portrayal of The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman, shunning the call for an older actress to provide the voiceover, to her claiming the role of Mrs. Carrie Watts back in 1985 and patiently waiting for it to come to fruition in 2012 with first the Broadway production of The Trip to Bountiful and then the Lifetime TV production, she breathed life into her roles. Her acting is so convincing as Jane Pittman that arguments arise on social media at least once a year as to whether or not Ms. Pittman was a real person. (She was not.)

Who was Ms. Tyson when she wasn't acting? She was a daughter, a sister, a wife, a friend and a mother - the last role being one she says has been rewarding, but also a journey requiring continuous work. Twice married, she readily admits that while she didn't love her first husband, Miles Davis was the love of her life. Growing up in East St. Louis, I still remember when Longfellow Elementary School was renamed for Miles Davis and he and Ms. Tyson came to town for the ceremony. Much has been written about the volatility of their relationship. You'll have to read the book to understand their love story, which started over 20 years before they ever married.

Toward the end of the book, Ms. Tyson says "... I'm still here because God hasn't finished with me. And when I've completed my job, he'll take me." Imagine not starting your acting career until you're 30 and continuing to act until your last days. While the rest of us contemplate retirement at 65, Ms. Tyson simply was not having it! Having inspired generations through her roles, through her life story, through her friendship, through her generous spirit and wanting to do even more, I have to believe God looked down on her one last time and said, well done, good and faithful servant. 

Always the Queen: The Denise LaSalle Story by Denise LaSalle

I came to Denise LaSalle's music in the latter part of her career, so I was surprised to find that she saw herself as a soul singer before she was ever a blues singer. I was delighted to see she was friends with some of my favorite blues musicians, e.g., Millie Jackson, Bobby Rush and blown away when I found out she wrote ZZ Hill's Someone Else is Steppin' In.

 Written in a conversational tone, Always the Queen felt like I was sitting at my aunt's house listening to her reminisce about her version of the good old days, whether factual or as she remembered them. At times, I had a difficult time determining whether the events Ms LaSalle wrote about were real or simply embellishments. Regardless, this was a quick and enjoyable read for anyone familiar with her music and her many business adventures.

#BookReview: THE MOTHER OF BLACK HOLLYWOOD by Jenifer Lewis

Synopsis: Told in the audacious voice her fans adore, Jenifer describes a road to fame made treacherous by dysfunction and undiagnosed mental illness, including a sex addiction. Yet, supported by loving friends and strengthened by "inner soldiers," Jenifer never stopped entertaining and creating.

We watch as Jenifer develops icon status stemming from a series of legendary screen roles as the sassy, yet loveable, mama or auntie. And we watch as her emotional disturbances, culminating in a breakdown while filming The Temptations movie, launch her on a continuing search for answers, love and healing.

Written with no-holds-barred honesty and illustrated with sixteen-pages of color photos, this gripping memoir is filled with insights gained through a unique life that offers a universal message: “Love yourself so that love will not be a stranger when it comes.”

Candid, warm and wonderfully inspiring, The Mother of Black Hollywood intimately reveals the heart of a woman who lives life to the fullest.

From her first taste of applause at five years old to landing on Broadway within 11 days of graduation and ultimately achieving success in movies, television and global concert halls, Jenifer reveals her outrageous life story with lots of humor, a few regrets and most importantly, unbridled joy.

Review: How will you know you've made it in Black Hollywood? When Jenifer Lewis plays your mama, your auntie and, now, your grandmother. The dynamic diva with a distinctive voice and personality to match has appeared on stage, on TV and in movies as characters as unapologetic as she is in real life. It's a fact that I'll watch any movie, regardless of the rest of the cast, if Jenifer Lewis is in it because she brings it every time. But there was a time when she was afraid that her light could be dimmed.

Ms. Lewis isn't shy about discussing her bipolar diagnosis now, but before her therapist and life were able to convince her she could take meds and still be just as fabulous, the diva was spinning out of control. Between home and the theater, she filled her days and nights with a multitude of sexual partners. Yes, mother has lived, y'all and she's not ashamed of it, but she knows now that sex was her addiction, a way to fill in the gaps, but it was neither the solution or the cure for what ailed her. Her openness and honesty about this part of her life is so refreshing. It's her truth and she's unafraid to tell you about it.

336 p.
Published: November 2017

#BookReview: THE LAST BLACK UNICORN by Tiffany Haddish

Synopsis: Growing up in one of the poorest neighborhoods of South Central Los Angeles, Tiffany learned to survive by making people laugh. If she could do that, then her classmates would let her copy their homework, the other foster kids she lived with wouldn’t beat her up, and she might even get a boyfriend. Or at least she could make enough money—as the paid school mascot and in-demand Bar Mitzvah hype woman—to get her hair and nails done, so then she might get a boyfriend.

None of that worked (and she’s still single), but it allowed Tiffany to imagine a place for herself where she could do something she loved for a living: comedy.

Tiffany can’t avoid being funny—it’s just who she is, whether she’s plotting shocking, jaw-dropping revenge on an ex-boyfriend or learning how to handle her newfound fame despite still having a broke person’s mind-set. Finally poised to become a household name, she recounts with heart and humor how she came from nothing and nowhere to achieve her dreams by owning, sharing, and using her pain to heal others.

By turns hilarious, filthy, and brutally honest, The Last Black Unicorn shows the world who Tiffany Haddish really is—humble, grateful, down-to-earth, and funny as hell. And now, she’s ready to inspire others through the power of laughter.

Review: Tiffany Haddish is fucking delightful. In spite of a difficult childhood with a mother struggling with mental illness, in spite of her time in foster care where she told jokes to keep from getting beat up, in spite of some raggedy boyfriends in her life, she succeeded. I don't know that I've ever seen a celebrity that makes me laugh as effortlessly as she does just by being herself.

Though Haddish first came to most people's attention with Girls Trip, and The Carmichael Show to a lesser extent, I remember her from her days on a variety of VH1's shows, e.g., I Love the 80s, I Love the 90s, Best Week Ever, etc. I didn't fully appreciate her then (that wouldn't come until Girls Trip), but reading her book and knowing the struggles she went through to get where she is now gives me an even greater appreciation for her.

There aren't any major life lessons to learn from The Last Black Unicorn as she hilariously recounts past jobs, past relationships and interactions with other comedians. Haddish isn't preachy and isn't out here to turn anyone's life around. She simply shares what she's gone through, in her hilarious way, and you take from it what you will. Her biggest goal, even with all the fame and fortune she has now, is to get her mother the help she needs to stay well so she can get back to being her mom. If the laughter, the smile that lights up her face when she tells a story, the ability to shine but not take herself too seriously, the fact that she's still out here using Groupons like the rest of us, if none of that makes you want to claim Tiffany Haddish as your BFF, I don't know what will.

288 p.
Published: December 2017
Disclaimer: Copy of book received from publisher, opinions are mine.

#BookReview: WE'RE GOING TO NEED MORE WINE by Gabrielle Union

Summary: One month before the release of the highly anticipated film The Birth of a Nation, actress Gabrielle Union shook the world with a vulnerable and impassioned editorial in which she urged our society to have compassion for victims of sexual violence. In the wake of rape allegations made against director and actor Nate Parker, Union—a forty-four-year-old actress who launched her career with roles in iconic ’90s movies—instantly became the insightful, outspoken actress that Hollywood has been desperately awaiting. With honesty and heartbreaking wisdom she revealed her own trauma as a victim of sexual assault: “It is for you that I am speaking. This is real. We are real.”

In this moving collection of thought provoking essays infused with her unique wisdom and deep humor, Union uses that same fearlessness to tell astonishingly personal and true stories about power, color, gender, feminism, and fame. Union tackles a range of experiences, including bullying, beauty standards, and competition between women in Hollywood, growing up in white California suburbia and then spending summers with her black relatives in Nebraska, coping with crushes, puberty, and the divorce of her parents. Genuine and perceptive, Union bravely lays herself bare, uncovering a complex and courageous life of self-doubt and self-discovery with incredible poise and brutal honesty. Throughout, she compels us to be ethical and empathetic, and reminds us of the importance of confidence, self-awareness, and the power of sharing truth, laughter, and support.

Review: Early on in her book, Gabrielle Union encourages you to grab a seat, get comfortable and grab a glass of wine because she has a lot to say, and she's not kidding. We're Going to Need More Wine is a thoughtful, honest and sometimes funny portrayal of the life and times of the ageless actress and activist.

Union tackles subjects that others might shy away from with tact and grace. Her willingness to share not only the highs of her life, but also the lows, is refreshing. Rape and the aftermath, the anxiety that comes with raising black boys, and growing up as an only (as in one of the few black people in her area, not an only child), are just some of the lows that she shares with us. She celebrates the sisterhood of black women in Hollywood, marrying her best friend, and reconnecting with her roots by spending summers in Nebraska (I know, right?).

We're Going to Need More Wine gives you an up close and personal, unflinching view of Gabrielle Union and I love it. I kind of want to be her best friend now. I don't really drink wine, but I'd curl up on the couch for a session of girl chat with her with a mai tai in hand. I'm willing to bet you would too.

272 p.
Published: October 2017
Disclaimer: Copy of book received from publisher; opinions are my own.

#BookReview: HUNGER by Roxane Gay

Summary: “I ate and ate and ate in the hopes that if I made myself big, my body would be safe. I buried the girl I was because she ran into all kinds of trouble. I tried to erase every memory of her, but she is still there, somewhere. . . . I was trapped in my body, one that I barely recognized or understood, but at least I was safe.”

In her phenomenally popular essays and long-running Tumblr blog, Roxane Gay has written with intimacy and sensitivity about food and body, using her own emotional and psychological struggles as a means of exploring our shared anxieties over pleasure, consumption, appearance, and health. As a woman who describes her own body as “wildly undisciplined,” Roxane understands the tension between desire and denial, between self-comfort and self-care. In Hunger, she explores her own past—including the devastating act of violence that acted as a turning point in her young life—and brings readers along on her journey to understand and ultimately save herself.

With the bracing candor, vulnerability, and power that have made her one of the most admired writers of her generation, Roxane explores what it means to learn to take care of yourself: how to feed your hungers for delicious and satisfying food, a smaller and safer body, and a body that can love and be loved—in a time when the bigger you are, the smaller your world becomes.

Review: Roxane Gay shares a lot of herself, probably more than we as readers deserve, in Hunger. She shares the story of her rape in her early years and how it propelled her toward a life long affair with food. As the summary says, she intentionally ate to become larger so that her body would became her safe place. The problem with creating this space is that it can also become your prison.

Gay talks a lot about how her weight affects not only how she sees herself, but how others see her. From the not so discreet stares of others on the airplane when they're hoping that she's not about to sit next to them to the rude stewardesses that won't let her use her own seat belt extender, insisting that she use theirs instead "for safety purposes." People are careful not to make fun of or show bias to other groups, e.g., disabled, but fat shaming seems to be par for the course in America.

Hunger is highly relatable and I found myself nodding my head along with Gay when she talked about how we try to make ourselves smaller for other people so as not to take up too much space. Or settling for relationships with people we wouldn't tolerate under different circumstances, just to be able to say that you're in a relationship and someone wants to be with you. And even putting up with verbal abuse because you think you deserve it.

At times it seemed that Gay was repetitive in her story telling, but I wonder if that was intentional. Though I complained a bit about it, by repeating the message, she drives home her points. Telling her story, writing Hunger was hard for her. I know this because she has said so in interviews, likely because it's deeply personal and her scars are put on display for all to see. I'm grateful to her for being so willing to share just a bit of herself with us.

320 p.
Published: June 2017
Disclaimer: Copy of book received from publisher; opinions are my own.

#BookReview: Glow: The Autobiography of Rick James - David Ritz

Rick James sure did think highly of himself. I know I’m not telling you anything you didn’t already know, especially if you saw him strut across a stage in the 80s, but wow. From his belief that he musically influenced Stevie Wonder and Marvin Gaye to his strange one-sided feud with Prince, who he thought was copying his style and stealing his ideas, it’s apparent that cocaine really is a hell of a drug.

His life story, told in conversation with a jailhouse preacher, is somewhat reminiscent of Malcolm Little’s conversations that ended with his conversion to Malcolm X. There was never any doubt that Rick James was going to be anything but Rick James. Even as his listener tries to guide him on the correct path and make him question his life up until that point, James has little regret and takes little responsibility for his action.

Coming from humble beginnings in Buffalo, New York as the son of a number’s runner, I just had to keep wondering, where did that huge ego come from? More than that, where did his complete disregard for women come from? I will say that I learned a few things about Rick that I’d never known. Living a Forest Gump-like existence, he seems to have rubbed shoulders early on with a number of musicians that would go on to have huge careers. It’s hard to imagine the Rick James of Superfreak fame hanging with Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young.

That he refers to all women, with the exception of his mother and sisters, as bitches comes as no surprise, but it’s no less stinging to read it repeatedly. If you thought his degradation of women was all part of an act, reading Glow leaves no doubt that he had quite a distorted view of love and how women should be treated. I was never a big fan of him or his music and this book did little to change that, but it certainly offered an interesting glimpse into his life.

352pp
Published: July 2014
Disclaimer: Copy of book received from publisher, opinions are my own.

Repost: Featured Author for December - Maya Angelou

This month's featured author is Maya Angelou. I had someone else in mind, but at trivia night a few weeks ago she was the subject of one of the questions. I was amazed that my table mates didn't know more about her. The average person knows that she wrote I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings or they remember her inaugural speech for President Clinton, On the Pulse of Morning. You may know her for her poetic stylings in Still I Rise or for the younger generation, as an elder in Tyler Perry movies.

Readers, I'm here to tell you that Madame Angelou has lived! I picked up her then complete collection as a freshmen in college 20 years ago and was blown away. The books shown above cover her life from the beginning with I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (1969); the ages 17 through 19 as a single mother working as a prostitute and madam in a brothel in Gather Together in My Name (1974); Singin' and Swingin' and Gettin' Merry Like Christmas (1976) covers her marriage to a Greek sailor, her dance career (did you know she once partnered with THE Alvin Ailey?), and the recording of her first album.

The Heart of A Woman (1981) reflects on her time as a member of the noted Harlem Writer's Guild; her time in Egypt and Ghana; her close friendship with Malcolm X; and raising a black man in America. All God's Children Need Traveling Shoes (1986) finds her back in the United States working as a songwriter for Roberta Flack, writing short stories and preparing for her role in Alex Haley's Roots miniseries.

When I tell you Madam Angelou has lived a full life, she truly has. As an impressionable young woman, I was so blown away by her story. Recounting now all that she has done in the time period that's not even covered by these books is even more stunning. My hope is that you will take the time to get to know and appreciate this woman who is truly an American treasure.

Originally posted Dec. 4, 2009

#BookReview: UNBREAK MY HEART by Toni Braxton

Fans of the oldest Braxton sister already know her story as it has played out in the tabloids and in the reality show with her sisters, Braxton Family Values.  There's not a whole lot to be learned in her new memoir, Unbreak My Heart, that we don't already know, but she does provide some insight into why she's made some of the decisions she's made.  She's open and honest about her relationships with her parents, her sisters and even her ex-husband.

To watch her on the family reality TV show, one might think that Toni's mother, Evelyn, has always been supportive of her career.  It came as a shock to me that this was not the case and that Evelyn, at one point, tried to turn the other sisters against Toni for getting signed to a label when the sisters did not.  Keeping this in mind, Toni has always reached back for her sisters, even when it wasn't necessarily in her best interest to do so.

In the African-American community, a certain idea has persisted for generations: If one gets, we all get.  We're all in the boat together, so we must all get out together.  In my family, it was taboo to separate from the group.  But secretly, that's exactly what I wanted to do.  I didn't simply want to be an extension of my parents and siblings.  I wanted to be an individual.

Toni also speaks of how the family idea that you needed to suppress your feelings and push through prepared her for life in show business.  It might seem that this lesson was lost on her sisters as they seem all too happy to put their lives on display.  It's noticeable that of the five, she is the sister that appears on TV the least and seems to be the least willing to share details of her life with the viewing audience.  Indeed, Braxton Family Values is a project she did to pay back the debt her mother imposed on her for making it so many years ago when her sisters didn't.

She speaks of how painful bankruptcy was, not once, but twice, along with the chatter about how she found herself in that situation.  She talks of the embarrassment she felt after appearing on the Oprah show, where Oprah seemed to take pleasure in berating her about how she'd spent her money.  Toni has stated a number of times that tour costs and not an extravagant lifestyle were to blame for her first bankruptcy.  Her second was the result of failure to perform in Las Vegas after health problems forced her to cancel her contractual obligations.

In reading Unbreak My Heart and even watching her on TV, you get the feeling that though Toni may have some divaish ways about her, she is ultimately a humble person.  She is grateful for the opportunities she's been given and exhibits a quiet grace as she speaks about raising an autistic child, separating from her husband and quitting (and returning) to an industry that eats its own.  Fans of her work, and even those unfamiliar with her prior to reading her memoir, will definitely come away with an appreciation of what she has endured.

272pp
Published: May 2014
Disclaimer: Copy of book received from the publisher, opinions are my own.

#BookReview: Things I Should Have Told My Daughter: Lies, Lessons & Love Affairs by Pearl Cleage

It has occurred to me that I have no close woman friends with whom to share confidences, fears, lusts, dreams. I am keeping an entire area of woman thoughts tucked away with no outlet or possibility of exchange! - Pearl Cleage

When I initially started the latest from the fabulous Pearl Cleage, I think I expected it to be a letter to her daughter or some kind of "do this, don't do that" list.  Instead, I got so much more.  My acquaintance and fascination with Cleage and her work started back in the 90s.  I guess I never really gave any thought to how she, or any other author, arrived at the point in their lives where they had enough experiences to write about anything.  But Mother Pearl has lived!

Pulling bits and pieces from her personal journals, Things I Should Have Told My Daughter, feels like a mother introducing her real self to her daughter.  I think as daughters, we sometimes forget that our mothers existed in the world before us and lived lives that we can't imagine.  We realize they're human, but forget that they're not just mothers.  It's wonderful to watch Cleage go back through her journals and expose herself as a woman, sister, daughter and lover.

She's an unashamed feminist.

“If women said they were sorry only when we really meant it, most of our conversations would be cut in half.”

She's an fierce womanist.

“Note on Ms.: It has some fairly decent articles, but they are all/all/all, down to the last woman, middle class and overwhelmingly white…The women working on the magazine all try to identify with non-white women and say that among women “there are no barriers,” but the only black woman in the whole issue is a black welfare mother who is in the fucking back of the magazine. She is obviously being used as a token.”

Her thoughts on love:

"I don't think you can love a man and be free.  There is too much bullshit."

“Whew. This must be Joe Louis love. If you not careful, it will knock you out."

And sexuality:

"Some people like to do sit ups in the morning. I like to have orgasms."

You shouldn't just buy this book because of all of the quotable quotes (I haven't even included a fourth of what I highlighted as I read it).  You should buy it because as you watch Cleage go from a young twentysomething recruiting black grad students to teach at southern black colleges to a speechwriter for Maynard Jackson, when you see her hanging with her friend Shirley and realize that it's the same Shirley Jackson that goes on to become the mayor of Atlanta, you're witnessing history unfold before your eyes.  Cleage is witty and wise from start to finish, writing and sharing her thoughts unabashedly; what an absolute treasure for anyone lucky enough to stumble upon her words.

“This morning, we saw a big roach in the kitchen. “Kill it,” I say, “I don’t kill roaches,” he says, “they have powerful karma.” “Roaches,” I answer, swatting at it with my house shoe, “are the only creatures on earth who have no karma whatsoever. Who ever heard of roach karma? In fact,” I continued, “God doesn’t even admit to creating roaches. He looked up at the nasty little things one day and said, who created this motherfucka?”

320pp
Published: April 2014
Disclaimer: Copy of book received from publisher, opinions are my own.

#BookReview: Kinky Gazpacho - Lori L. Tharps

There aren't many people who chart their destiny in the seventh grade and follow through with it, but by that time, Lori L. Tharps already knew that somehow Spain would play a role in her life.  Kinky Gazpacho takes us on a journey as Tharps tries to reconcile her love for a place where she doesn't necessarily feel loved.  But that's not the most interesting part of the story for me.

Tharps grew up in a world of otherness.  By that I mean, she grew up as one of the few black students in predominantly white schools.  At no point does she sound bitter about it.  In fact, she seems proud of the fact that can blend into the mainstream (read: White American culture) so well.  And I think that, in part, is why she's so troubled about what she feels is Spain's rejection of her.  She's Lori the lovable.  She's fit in in the Midwest, Northeast and Morocco.  How dare this country that she's longed for for so many years not accept her in the manner she sees fit?

Lest you think I'm faulting Tharps, be assured that I'm not.  Like her, I grew up in a world of otherness.  Navigating grade school and high school as an other can be a lonely place.  There can be a need to assimilate for acceptance, especially in a classroom setting where being different can lead to bullying or avoidance.  It makes life easier.  Often in these situations, members of other learn to code switch and the face/language/actions seen in school or workplace differ from those seen with members of their own race/culture/religion.  Whether it's done consciously or not, it becomes a coping mechanism for many.  

Not completely comfortable with assimilation, Tharps headed for Smith College determined not to become friends with any White people.  In her quest to make black friends, she decided to attend the Black Students' Alliance meeting, but left before the meeting started when no one made an effort to speak to, or acknowledge, her.  It's important to note that she doesn't mention reaching out to anyone at the meeting either and that most of the students were either returning students or first years that arrived on campus earlier in the week for a student of color orientation in which they met each other.  Though she could have made more of an effort, I understand that it's difficult to make new friends and try to insert yourself in a group where it feels like everyone already knows everyone else.

Tharps' problem seemed to be that she, like so many others, had defined what blackness was and, deciding that the other black girls were the epitome of it while she was not, judged them and returned to the world in which she was most comfortable.  And that's fine, but the idea that black women had rejected her because of the way she talked (when she had yet to utter a word) or the music she listened to, was a little absurd. For someone that didn't want to be defined by her color, she seemed to have no problem doing it to others.

Studying abroad in Spain her junior year of college begins Tharps' love-hate relationship with the country.  Though she first revels in the fact that her otherness there isn't based on being black, but being American, she soon tires of the stares from people that have rarely seen a black woman.  From the hooded figures of people celebrating Semana Santa, the lusty gazes of men curious about "wild" black women, the black-faced mammy figurines and costumes, to candy, Tharps is continually confronted with things that should make her denounce her adopted country.  But in marrying her husband and becoming a more frequent visitor to Spain, she begins to find a little of herself in the country.  Unfortunately, it took far too long in story for this to happen and far too little time was spent exploring it.

207pp

Published: March 2008

Theme: Stranger in Paradise by Diana Ross

#BookReview: The Whitney I Knew - Bebe Winans

When I saw the announcement of this book in June, my first thought was, "It's too soon.  Has she been properly grieved yet and people are putting out books?"  I admit upfront that I'm a Whitney stan.  From the moment I saw her singing You Give Good Love on Video Soul, I was hooked.  She was gorgeous and her voice was heavenly.  So you'll understand that I took her death personally and stayed in bed the day of her funeral, watching it from beginning to end as the choir sang and her friends and family remembered her.

Through the comments and singing, I was able to maintain my composure.  Then BeBe Winans stepped up to talk about his "sister" and brought his birth sister, CeCe with him.  I've followed the careers of BeBe and CeCe since the late 80s, so I was aware that Whitney appeared on some of their early tracks and that they were friends.  I knew that Whitney and CeCe were like sisters, but was not aware of how close Whitney and BeBe were until he began recounting stories of their times together.  His words and his singing brought tears to my eyes then and again as I read The Whitney I Knew.

With Winans' words, readers are reminded that what we see of celebrities is not all there is.  Though to some it feels as though this book was rushed out to capitalize on Houston's fame, I think it was an attempt to humanize her.  Winans shares stories of Whitney that aren't well known.  For example, for her 26th birthday, Michael Jackson sent her a monkey.  Perhaps it was because he was living a secluded lifestyle and knew the loneliness that came with fame, so he decided to give her a companion.  Whitney, however, laughed it off and said that monkey was getting dropped off at the zoo!

I loved that Winans was close enough to her to see the regular girl from Jersey side of her and share a few glimpses into their friendship.  He talked about how she loved to talk on the phone and how she would invite him and CeCe over for lunch as if New Jersey and Tennessee were right next door.  The stories of how she would pop up at their concerts and sing background as if it were the most natural thing in the world and as if she weren't THE Whitney Houston or how she claimed the entire Winans clan as family from the moment she met them made her all the more charming.

I was slightly taken aback at how Winans weaved stories of other celebrities in, at times it seemed that he was name dropping just to prove how close he was to them.  At one point, he brings up Vanessa Williams and the incident that caused her to give up her Miss America title.  All I could think was, "You had to bring up Vanessa though? I mean, she's somewhere minding her business and you're rehashing a story from 30 years ago. Seriously, BeBe???"

Overall, this book is a testament to the friendship and kinship that Winans had with Houston.  With the offering of pictures from personal family collections and rarely seen video footage, Winans welcomes fans of Houston to see her as he, and those closest to her, saw her.  It's a glimpse you won't want to miss.

272pp
Published: July 2012
Disclaimer: Copy of book received from publisher, opinions are my own.

 

Theme: Jesus Loves Me by Whitney Houston

#BookReview: black and (A)broad: traveling beyond the limitations of identity - Carolyn Vines

I stumbled upon the author's blog back in December and thought the premise was absolutely fascinating.  I don't necessarily have a desire to live abroad, but traveling abroad is definitely on the must do list.  It's too bad that this book is less about Vine's experience living abroad while identifying as a black woman and more about her self-hate.

The author spends time as a college student in Spain, which was of great interest since it's on my bucket list of places to visit.  Unfortunately, she glosses over the experience.  Instead, she chooses to dwell on meeting her Dutch boyfriend in Washington, DC; moving to New Orleans to live with him; and eventually following him back to the Netherlands.

So I'm thinking, okay, show me what the Netherlands has to offer a brown woman.  But other than a few passages here and there, I didn't get that either.  What I got was a book about a woman who was taught to distrust other black women and to marry a white man talking about how difficult it was to raise a child while working.  That happens to women all over the world daily, right? Is it book worthy? I suppose.  But it wasn't what I was looking for.

Circling back to my comment about the author's self-hate, there is no doubt based on her comments that the seeds of hatred were planted by her mother.  It lives on in the author's belief as a college student that if she were light with long hair by Lisa Bonet that she'd be more readily accepted by her peers.

I'd already heard that a girl from my high school had commented that “Carolyn isn’t black anymore; she hangs out with white people.” I kept my mouth shut and went into a self-imposed exile from the black community and took refuge in the white, where androgyny was acceptable and sexuality forbidden (so I believed), the only safe place for a black girl like me who needed to get away from the expectations of black people regarding the way I spoke, who I had sex with, the grades I got, who my friends should be, which sports I could play, what music I could listen to, and the list goes on.

I was disheartened by her view of the black community as bad overall, while the white community represented safety.  In fact, it seems that at some point she starts to see herself as "other" as if being black was less than any other race.

I couldn’t articulate my most terrifying fear of not working: I’d become a white woman, and I couldn’t have that. As a child trying to visualize what I wanted to be when I grew up, a white housewife never even made the shortlist. On the contrary, I imagined myself single and supporting my kids on my executive’s salary. In a few words – a strong, independent, black woman who didn’t need anybody, not even the father of my children. After all, it was my birthright, handed down to me from my mother who’d inherited it from her mother and so on for generations.

I would love to have a conversation with her and ask at what point did being a housewife become synonymous with being a white woman, while struggling to survive became synonymous with being a black woman. And yes, we're all aware of what TV and the media show us, but we know that women of all races are housewives and women of all races struggle.  And if you see that your mother struggled, why would you readily accept that that's your fate?

The author also seems to have a romanticized view of her current homeland.  Though a Dutch magazine did a spread in December 2011 about Rihanna with a headline calling her a "Niggerbitch," Vines would have us believe that the Netherlands are post-racial.  In fact, in her mind they don't see race at all.  However, she contradicts herself.

For example, Dutch television broadcast positive images of blacks that I’d never seen in America... Blacks were not depicted as stereotypes but as part of the Dutch community, participating in healthy relationships. They were not shown leading “black” lives, they were leading Dutch lives.

The America I grew up in disparaged black culture, relegating it to the margins of mainstream culture.Black Americans, including myself, internalized the message that we were of no consequence, mere outcasts trespassing on the American Dream. Dutch people, on the other hand, were curious about my black culture, taking a genuine interest in its particularities.

Many Dutch people were quick to deny their ancestors’ role as the oppressor, which I’d found unsettling, at the very least. Rationalizations abounded, such as Dutch slave owners not being as cruel as the Spanish or their not being involved with the slave trade as long as the French or that Dutch slavers hadn’t shipped as many Africans as the English. Dutch people themselves had admitted that their educational system, formal and informal, had glossed over Dutch colonial history.

However, the gravest problem I could see was that the Dutch didn’t question their country’s involvement in the colonization of Asia and America and the enslavement of Africans, just as they did not question Black Pete, even amidst the reproach he inspired. In my opinion Black Pete would be an ideal starting point for the Dutch to engage their racial politics.

Also disturbing to me was the author's need to talk about her sister's alcoholism in a way that almost seemed to belittle her.  It was almost if she was using that particular chapter to show that she had "made" it while her sister fell prey to the exact men and life that her mother had always predicted for her. So the author is winning at life by playing by the rules her mother laid out.

So what did I take away from this book?  The author is proud of her marriage to a Dutchman (which her mother surely approved of, though she didn't bother attending the wedding) and her biracial daughters. She finally found a group of women of color, mostly married to Dutchmen, that she can relate to, thereby disproving her mother's notion that other black women can't be trusted. Meh.

316pp
Published: October 2010
 

 

Theme: Leaving on a Jet Plane by Mos Def

#BookReview: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) - Mindy Kaling

With gems like this:

You know those books called From Homeless to Harvard or From Jail to Yale or From Skid Row to Skidmore? They’re these inspirational memoirs about young people overcoming the bleakest of circumstances and going on to succeed in college. I was worried I would be the subject of a reverse kind of book: a pathetic tale of a girl with a great education who frittered it away watching syndicated Law & Order episodes on a sofa in Brooklyn. From Dartmouth to Dickhead it would be called. I needed a job.

and this:

I always identified with Peppermint Patty, in case you were wondering—the loud, opinionated man-girl who chased around her crush without even fully knowing she liked him.

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? should have been hilarious.  And it was, at first.  Halfway through it, I realized that it wasn't as funny as I initially thought it was.  Her childhood? Hysterical.  Post college? It was just okay.

I don't watch The Office, so I was unfamiliar with Kaling and her brand of humor.  I think the only reason I added it to my "to be read" list was because so many people I follow on Twitter and Goodreads recommended it.   Maybe you have to be a fan of hers already for this to really click for you.  I'm not, so with a chuckle here and a cackle there, it was just a meh read for me.

240pp
Published: November 2011

Theme: The Song That Doesn't End by Sheri Lewis & Lamb Chop

#BookReview: Le Freak: An Upside Down Story of Family, Disco, and Destiny - Nile Rodgers

Even if you don't know his name, and I can't imagine you don't, but if you don't, you know Nile Rodgers' music.  A writer, musician and producer, you can almost bet that at any given moment, a radio station some place on earth is playing a Nile Rodgers' song.  We'll get into the songs in a just a minute, but for now, let's talk about Nile himself.

Born to a 13 year old mother, Nile's upbringing was anything but conventional.  I would go so far as to say that the phrase, "sex, drugs and rock & roll" accurately describes his youth.  A few years later his mother would go on to marry, not Nile's biological father, but Bobby, a Jewish salesman that wasn't much older than her.  As Beverly and Bobby experimented more with drugs, their surroundings changed, so it wasn't uncommon for Nile and his brothers to live in Greenwich Village one day and Alphabet City or Hell's Kitchen the next.

As his mother tried to get herself together, Nile went to live with his grandmother and began an endless stream of flights back and forth from California to New York as his mother summoned him and sent him away.  The one bright light in all of this chaos was his discovery of a love for music.  It almost seemed like as soon as he felt he was old enough to handle life on his own, he made a break from the yo-yo lifestyle he'd been leading.  Thank goodness he did.

Starting with the Big Apple Band, Rodgers would partner with bassist Bernard Edwards and go on to compose, write, produce, perform or play on some of the biggest hits of the last 40 years.  As Chic, Rodgers and Edwards just wanted to make good music.  Neither was concerned with being the front man, which made them the perfect house musicians for artists like Luther Vandross and Ashford & Simpson.  Their production and writing skills brought us Sister Sledge's We Are Family and He's the Greatest Dancer.  I still bump Diana Ross' Upside Down and I'm Coming Out.  And though Rodgers and Edwards split in the 80s, Rodgers went on to work on albums for Madonna (the complete Like A Virgin album), David Bowie (Let's Dance), Duran Duran (The Reflex), Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, Michael Jackson and Prince, to name a few.

What did you like about this book?
I learned a lot about Rodgers.  I guess I'd never really given him much thought prior to receiving this book, but he really has written the soundtrack of my life.  He's lead quite an interesting life and has overcome what would be insurmountable circumstances for others.

What didn't you like about this book?
Off the top of my head, I can't think of anything.

What could the author do to improve this book?
I went into this expecting to get a lot more gossip or back stories of Rodgers' friends.  I guess because they were his friends, he didn't really give up as much as I expected him to.

336pp
Published: Oct. 18, 2011

Theme: Dance, Dance, Dance by Chic

  

#BookReview: One Day It'll All Make Sense - Common

A lot of rappers write memoirs and while I've had no interest in reading most of them, I couldn't resist giving Common's One Day It'll All Make Sense a read.  He's one of my favorite rappers because unlike some that talk about how many cars they have or how many women they've slept with, he generally comes with a message.  I'll forgive him for the foolishness that was Electric Circus (I'm just going to blame that one on Erykah Badu) and Universal Mind Control (and I'll blame this one on Serena Williams).

I'm not sure why, but I fully expected Common to just break down some of his lyrics, tell us about his fancy lifestyle and throw in an occasional motivational message.  Instead, each chapter starts with a letter from him to someone important in his life, alive or dead.  Through these letters, the reader learns what the person he's writing to has meant to him and how they influenced his life.  I especially enjoyed his letters to his parents and to his daughter.

Another thing he does, that not many men are willing to do, is be open about his relationships and the roles he's played in them.  Let's go back to my reference to Electric Circus and Ms. Badu.  Why do I blame her for that horrible CD?  How do you go from Like Water for Chocolate to that?  Other than Come Close, which was written about Erykah, it was the epitome of whack.  In talking about his relationship with her, it's apparent that from day one, Erykah was in control and their relationship was all about her.

"Erykah was my first grown-up love.  Loving her was the first time I had been so caught up in a relationship that everything else seemed muffled and dimmed. ...I loved Erykah so hard that I didn't have any love left for myself."

While his family and friends watched, Common changed the way he lived, ate, communicated, etc.  It almost sounded like one of the Ms. Cleo commercials of the nineties, "I think someone put roots on me!"  Though they started as friends, Erykah decided when they became a couple and also when the relationship ended, calling him while he was on tour to tell him it was over, while her next man sat in the room and listened in on the conversation.  Who does that??? When I say Ms. Badu is stronger than battery acid?!?! I just wanted to cradle Common to my chest as a I read that...purely for unselfish reasons, of course.  And um, have a word with "E."

Common goes on to talk about his other relationships with Taraji "my eyes stay bloodshot" P. Henson and Serena Williams, but it's obvious that Ms. Badu had the most lasting effect on him and some of his biggest life lessons were learned as a result of their time together.  The message that stood out most to me was,

"No longer am I going to dim my light for anyone or anything.  I 'm going to let it shine.  This is what God gave me, so I'm going to wear this.  I'm going to wear my greatness."

And he wears it well...as long as we're not talking about his acting, but that's another story for another time.

What did you like about this book?
I loved the openness and honesty of Common.  Though he's usually portrayed as walking the straight and narrow, his stories of youth quickly dispel that myth.  It's as if he's most interested in giving people the complete picture of himself rather than the manufactured image that most artists have.

What didn't you like about this book?
I enjoyed most of the letters, but some of them were quite lengthy and didn't keep my attention.

What could the author do to improve this book?
I would suggest shortening and/or removing some of the letters.






320pp
Published September 2011
Disclosure: Copy provided by the publisher, opinions posted are my own.

Theme: The People by Common

#BookReview: Bricktop - Bricktop with James Haskins

Before Josephine Baker conquered Paris, there was Bricktop.  Born Ada Beatrice Queen Victoria Louise Virginia Smith in 1894, the red-headed child of a black father and biracial mother would go on to be called Bricktop first by her fellow entertainers and eventually the world.  While I had read articles with brief mentions of Bricktop before, I was compelled to read her memoir after listening to Bette Midler's version of Miss Otis Regrets and learning that it was written by Cole Porter for Bricktop to perform.



Ethyl Waters version



Bette Midler version
So who was this Bricktop that she could compel one of the most prolific song writers to compose a song especially for her to perform? She's the same woman about whom F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway and T.S. Eliot wrote. As a teenager she began performing in Chicago clubs. Traveling around the country in entertainment troupes, she eventually landed in New York where she was encouraged to go to Paris.

Opening her own club in Paris, specifically Monmartre, Bricktop's became the place to see and be seen in 1920s & 1930s Europe.  Her tales of teaching the Prince of Wales how to do the Charleston or waiting tables with Langston Hughes would almost seem unbelievable if there weren't pictures to back up her story.  At a time when America had little use for its black citizens, Bricktop created a world of her own in a Europe that appreciated her.

Black entertainers living abroad, European royalty, American writers, composers, etc. all found their way to Bricktop's at some point.  With the exception of Josephine Baker, it seemed that everyone that stumbled into her establishment was welcomed.  Per Bricktop's account of their encounters, Josephine was brought to her shortly upon her arrival to France.  Brick was asked to help her adjust to life in Europe by teaching her about the fashions, where to go, with whom to hang, etc.  Brick believed in planning ahead and saving, while Josephine believed in living in the moment and overindulging.  Heads butted and eventually the ladies stopped speaking.

Forced to leave Europe in 1939 due to the war, Bricktop returned to New York to find that the integrated life she had taken for granted in Europe still did not exist in America.  While she had been able to open clubs in France and amass enough money to own her own villa, in New York she was relegated to segregated clubs and working for much less to which she was accustomed.

Turning her sights in a new direction, Bricktop headed for Mexico, where she proceeded to open yet another successful club.  Two years into her stay she was forced to leave the country to apply for a formal work visa.  Her plan was to return to Mexico, but instead found herself back in Europe.  Her first stop was Paris, but upon finding it changed by the war and the racist attitudes the Europeans had learned from American soldiers, Brick set her sites on Rome and enjoyed a successful career there until her retirement.

Returning to America to care for her ailing sister, Brick found herself with a small inheritance when her sister passed.  She used this money to travel freely and found an accepting audience in Los Angeles and this time, New York. Bricktop passed in 1984 in her apartment in New York at the age of 90, having lived a life full enough to satisfy anyone.

"Anywhere I entertain becomes Bricktop's. Running a saloon is the only thing I know and I know it backwards and forwards. As for me, it's nice to be mingling around again. Not working nights began to wear on me." - Bricktop

300 pp

Published August 1999

Originally published April 9, 2010

#BookReview: The Grace of Silence - Michele Norris

This is the book I expected when I read Condoleezza Rice's Extraordinary, Ordinary People.  Where Condi failed me, Michele Norris came through with flying colors.  This is truly one of those books that everyone needs to read.

What originally started as a book about post-racial America following the election of President Barack Obama turned into a discussion about race within Norris' own family.  Though Norris herself was born and raised in Minnesota, which may have made for a fascinating story in and of itself, her father was from the deep south.  It's his story she tells, as well as that of her maternal grandmother and other family members.

The Grace of Silence really made me reflect on the conversations I've had with my older relatives.  While they touch on the fun times, rarely do they ever talk about the reasons why they left Mississippi (my mother's side) or Tennessee (my father's side).  There's no mention of how they transitioned from the South to the Midwest, though some would argue that St. Louis is just the upper South.  Encouraged by Norris' words, I plan to have conversations with them about growing up in segregated America and living through the Civil Rights Movement.  If you haven't already, you should plan to do the same, regardless of race.

What did you like about this book?
In listening to Michele Norris narrate her book, the pride in her voice as she spoke of her parents, grandparents, etc. was so apparent.  I could tell that this book was a real labor of love for her.  I'm glad that she was so willing to share so much of their story.

What didn't you like about this book?
I can't think of a thing.

What could the author do to improve this book?
I have no doubts that Norris' life and career are just as fascinating as the lives of her relatives.  I would love to read an autobiography from her.

Listening time: 5 hours, 48 minutes
Published: September 2010

Theme: Better People by India.Arie