#BookReview: Please Look After Mom - Kyung-Sook Shin

Would it take your mother's disappearance for you to realize how little you knew of her?

"Do you remember asking me a while ago to tell you something that only I knew about Mom? I told you I didn't know Mom.  All I knew was that Mom was missing.  It's the same now.  I especially don't know where her strength came from."

It's not until your wife goes missing that you even see her as your counterpart.

"Before you lost sight of your wife on the Seoul Station subway platform, she was merely your children's mother to you."

"Before she went missing, you spent your days without thinking about her.  When you did think about her, it was to ask her to do something, or to blame her or ignore her.  Habit can be a frightening thing.  You spoke politely with others, but your words turned sullen toward your wife.  Sometimes you even cursed at her.  You acted as if it had been decreed that you couldn't speak politely to your wife. That's what you did."

When 69 year old Park So-nyo goes missing, her husband and her children come to understand how little they knew of her and how much they took her for granted for so long.  Born into poverty, she married a man that she didn't know, or initially love, yet raised five children to become productive members of society.  Yet, like many adult children, she became an afterthought as they became successful, seen as an annoyance by some.

Still, their successes were all built firmly on the foundation that she set for them.  The eldest son for whom she saved and sacrificed to send to school; a younger daughter that was sent off to live with that same son to receive an even better education; the daughter who tries to manage being both a pharmacist and a mother to three, while wondering how Mom managed to raise five children and make it seem so easy and natural.

"Since she went missing, I often think: Was I a good daughter? Could I do the kind of things for my kids she did for me?  I know one thing.  I can't do it like she did.  Even if I wanted to.  When I'm feeding my kids, I often feel annoyed, burdened, as if they're holding on to my ankles.  I love my kids, and I am moved - wondering, did I really give birth to them?  But I can't give them my entire life like Mom did.  Depending on the situation, I act as if I would give them my eyes if they need them, but I'm not Mom."

Over the course of this short read, each member of the family reflects on the role Mom played in his/her life, realizing that not once did they see as anything other than their mother.  And as mothers sometimes do, she downplayed any problems she had the few times that anyone asked.  Ultimately, it's the inability to express her pain (and her family's willingness to overlook it) that leads to the disappearance of Park.

"So why did we think of Mom as a mom from the very beginning?  She didn't have the opportunity to pursue her dreams and, all by herself, faced everything the era dealt her, poverty and sadness, and she couldn't do anything about her very bad lot in life other than suffer through it and get beyond it and live her life to the very best of her ability, giving her body and her heart to it completely.

256pp
Published: April 2011

Theme: Acknowledgement by John Coltrane

#BookReview: Trading Dreams at Midnight - Diane McKinney-Whetstone

A while ago I was waxing nostalgic about writers I miss.  Diane McKinney-Whetstone is on that list, so when I ran out of audio books, I picked up Trading Dreams at Midnight even though I'd already read it.  I really believe that you learn or hear new things when you go back and read or listen to books you've previously read.  I don't remember being as intrigued with the family dynamic before, but this time, I was blown away.

Trading Dreams centers around two sisters, Trish and Neena; their mother, Freeda; and their grandmother, Nan.  Like so many that migrated from the South, Nan came to Philadelphia in search of a better life.  What she found was Alfred, a pretty man with a penchant for drinking.  What she got from him was a daughter.  Freeda was a strange child and an even stranger teen.  While Alfred tried to explain it away, Nan suspected that her daughter was mentally ill.  I think, to some degree, Alfred knew she was, because he heard voices in his head just like Freeda.  He drank to keep the voices at bay, while Freeda hadn't yet found an outlet.

Freeda's demons drove her out into the streets, only to return to Nan with the birth of each daughter, Trish and Neena.  Freeda tried to stay and be a good mother, but the voices that told her to kill her daughters sent her away for good and the girls found themselves staying with Nan.  As the eldest, Neena had more memories of the good times with Freeda.  So it only makes sense that she's the daughter that feels the abandonment more deeply.  Each girl deals with Freeda's departure in different ways.  While Trish dives deep into books, church and social clubs, Neena takes to the streets to find her mother, chasing one lead after another, only to return when money has dried up. 

I found myself so angry and upset with Nan.  As she watched Neena mirror so many of the same mistakes Freeda made, she never stepped in to offer words of encouragement nor was she truthful about Freeda's whereabouts.  As a teen and adult, Neena seemed to bear the brunt of Nan's anger about, and disappointment in, Freeda.  While Freeda's disappearance had an effect on the girls, Nan's actions toward them affected them just as much.  Weeding Neena and watering Trish led to two very different lives for the sisters.  As college dropout Neena wandered the country, blackmailing married men for money and searching for Freeda; degreed and happily pregnant Trish married the love of her life and worked her dream job.  A single statement from Nan could have put Neena on the same path.

Just as maddening as Nan's silence during Neena's search for Freeda is the wedge she's determined to drive and keep between the sisters.  Upon Neena's return to Philadelphia, she's trying to locate her sister.  Nan refuses to tell her she's in the hospital because her pregnancy is at risk and she doesn't want Neena to upset Trish.  My grace, Nan, have a thousand seats already!   At no point was I ever given the idea that Trish didn't want her sister around. Neena wasn't a crackhead, thief, Freeda reincarnate or any other imaginable reason I could think of for Nan to keep her away.  She was just a controlling old biddy. 

Interestingly enough, Nan was no angel in her heyday.  And that's the beauty of McKinney-Whetstone's writing, her characters are human.  While they may want to believe that they're beyond reproach and have always lived saintly lives, they're not and McKinney-Whetstone is going to peel back enough layers for you to see that.

I would have liked to hear more from and about Trish.  She was a central part of Neena and Nan's lives, but didn't really have a voice in the story as a child or adult.  Instead, she's like an inanimate object that gets tossed around by Nan, Freeda and Neena like a group of kids playing Hot Potato. We're given a brief look into her current state in the hospital, but nothing more. 

Overall, this was an enjoyable listen and I got so much more out of it this time around.

312pp
Listening time: 10 hours
Published: June 2008

Theme: Clouds by Chaka Khan

#BookReview: Running from Solace - Nakia Laushaul

In this sometimes predictable and, at other times, jawdropping novel, Nakia Laushaul takes readers on an emotional rollercoaster with Running from Solace.  This is one of those books I stumbled upon on Amazon one day.  It's biggest selling factors were the price ($ 2.99) and the recommendation based on another book I'd purchased, which I can't remember now.  For $ 2.99, I certainly got my money's worth.

As a social worker, Naomi has seen her fair share of endangered children.  Growing up in less than desirable circumstances, Naomi understands what it's like to have a drug addicted mother and watch numerous men parade in and out of your house.  And while others may have grown a thick skin and blocked out the past, Naomi is still haunted by her childhood.  It's her past that allows her to connect with the kids she sees daily.  That past also keeps her from connecting to her husband.

When Naomi is called to remove a trio of children from their mother, she makes a connection with one of them, Xavier, and promises to be there for him and his siblings.  Her personal life proves to be a distraction, as she watches her churchgoing husband being seduced by the words and actions of a new female preacher, and she lets Xavier, his siblings and everyone around her down.  But Naomi is a survivor and eventually, with the help of a therapist and the love of her husband, she becomes the person she was always meant to be.

Laushaul does a good job of keeping readers in suspense.  Normally I can figure out the ending of a book before I get to it, but I was pleasantly surprised this time around.  It's easy to tell that the subjects approached in Running from Solace are near to the author's heart and she's determined to make you care just as much about her characters and their stories as she does.

276pp
Published: April 2011

 

Theme: No More Drama by Mary J. Blige

#BookReview: Camilla's Roses - Bernice McFadden

From the outside looking in, Camilla Rose has everything - a good looking husband, a beautiful daughter, a successful career and a nice home.  If you googled 'living the American dream,' there would probably be a picture of her front and center.  But it's all a facade that's slowly, but surely crumbling.

Before you're able to dive too deep into Camilla's issues, Bernice McFadden takes us back a few generations.  All of the women in Camilla's family have the middle name Rose, and Velma and Maggie are no exception.  Raised in the South, the beautiful, but dimwitted Maggie, and the homely Velma move north for better lives.  When tragedy leaves the beautiful Maggie disfigured, she moves in with Velma and her husband and becomes a constant presence in the lives of their children.  And while it's true that Maggie doesn't see as well as she used to, she misses absolutely nothing.

Audrey Rose is Velma's baby girl and she has such a promising future.  Then she meets Lloyd and suddenly the future is not so bright.  Succumbing to pressure, Audrey throws everything away and leaves her own baby girl, Camilla to be raised by Velma and Maggie.  In a house that's already running over with countless cousins, all left behind by their own parents, Camilla is just another mouth to feed.  She's determined to be different though.

As we watch Camilla grow up, it becomes obvious that she's working to distance herself from this family and this life that she didn't ask for.  So it's no surprise that she sheds her skin and her loved ones the moment she leaves for college and she's perfectly content to keep living in a world without them until she realizes that they're what she's been missing and they're what she needs the most.

I read this a number of years ago and remembered it being good, but I went back and listened to it and was blown away.  The narrator breathed life into the story and made it absolutely unforgettable, so much so that I'm tempted to go back and listen to everything McFadden has written.







224 pp
Listening time: 6 hours, 9 minutes
Published: April 2004

 

Theme: Lean On Me by Melba Moore

#BookReview: Pavilion of Women - Pearl S. Buck

Imagine awakening on your fortieth birthday and deciding that you were through performing for others. Their concerns were no longer yours and from that point on you were going to live the life you always envisioned. That's exactly what Madame Wu, the lead character of Pavilion of Women does. How exciting!

I can't count the number of times I've said, "As soon as the kid leaves home, I'm starting life over." Like Madame Wu, I'll be 40 when that happens. Somehow I don't think my decision will have the same consequences.

As a mother of four, Madame Wu has been responsible for tending to her elderly mother-in-law, her simple husband, arranging quality marriages for her eldest sons and overseeing the House of Wu, one of the oldest and most respected families in China. Realizing that she has never really loved her husband and has given to those around without realizing any of her dreams, she makes the decision to step aside.

Moving from the court she shares with her husband to her deceased father-in-law's court sets about finding a suitable concubine for her husband. There's also the matter of her second son's unhappy marriage to be dealt with, along with finding a proper wife for her third son before he falls for her husband's new wife.

When a handsome, foreign priest enters Madame Wu's world, she's pleasantly surprised to find that he may be the perfect person to show her what she's been missing for the first forty years.

I'm a big fan of This Good Earth by Pearl Buck, but hadn't ventured any further into her catalog. I'm mad at myself for waiting so long to do so. I loved this story. Madame Wu is a walking contradiction, but her intentions are good. If you're looking for something out of the norm, this is the book for you.

Originally posted November 13, 2009

#BookReview: A Cup of Friendship - Deborah Rodriguez

Centered around the lives of frequent visitors to the Kabul Coffee House, A Cup of Friendship offers a glimpse into life in modern day Afghanistan.  I was hesitant to read it initially because I was worried that it would be another 'white person saves the natives' story, but surprisingly it wasn't.

Small town country girl Sunny came to Kabul with her on again/off again boyfriend, Tommy.  While Tommy is out playing secret soldier for extended periods of time, Sunny is trying to turn a profit with the coffee house she's opened in Kabul. Working along side her are Halajan, a widow; Halajan's twenty year old son, Ahmet, the coffee house's guard; Bashir the cook; and the newly arrived Yazmina.  Rounding out the cast of characters are Jack, a handsome American in Kabul as a consultant; Candace, the ex-wife of a U.S. diplomat; and Isabel, the fiercely loyal and indefatigable British journalist.

Through Isabel the reader learns of the atrocities that women in Afghanistan face under the Taliban regime and as laborers in opium fields.  Isabel's journeys also offer a brief glimpse into Muslim and Jewish relations in Afghanistan.  Candace's story focuses on growing terrorist cells.  Halajan is in love with a childhood friend, but communication is forbidden without her son's consent.  And Yazmina, a young widow, arrives in Kabul pregnant and afraid because a pregnant woman without a husband casts shame upon her family.

In this fast paced read, Rodriguez takes care to explore story lines that the average American reader may not have had exposure to before.  I was completely hooked from the beginning to end and highly encourage anyone else that's seeking a better understanding of every day life in Afghanistan to give this a read.

What did you like about this book?
There were a lot of characters to keep track of. It could have been difficult to keep them straight and keep the reader interested in all of them, but Rodriguez seems to have tackled this with ease.

What didn't you like about this book?
While everyone else's story seemed to teach a specific aspect of life in Kabul, I felt like Sunny's story could have taken place anywhere.  While the others were struggling to stay alive or live by the rules of their religion, Sunny's biggest problems seemed to be what man she'd end up with before the book ended.

What could the author do to improve this book?
Focus less on the American perspective (Sunny) and more on those native to Afghanistan.

304pp
Published: January 2011

Theme: Ronnie Talk to Russia by Prince

#BookReview: Address: House of Corrections - Monice Mitchell Simms

From Locust Grove, Georgia to Detroit, Michigan, the debut novel from Monice Mitchell Simms is a journey that grabs a hold of you from page one and doesn't let you go until the end.  Even then, you'll be begging for more.

Address: House of Corrections opens with the main character's, Merry, release from prison in 1965.  Through a series of flashbacks, we learn that Merry and her brother Johnson have been raised by their grandmother in the south until events force them to relocate to Detroit and the mother that abandoned them shortly after birth.  Immediately fascinated with the sporting life her Aunt Teenie lives, Merry falls in with a bad crowd and sets the course for her life.

Having been abandoned by her own mother, one would think that Merry would take steps to insure that the same does not happen with her own kids.  But much like her mother, Merry finds herself chasing after some thing and someone, leaving her kids to be raised like her mother in a history repeating cycle.

What did you like about this book?
It was extremely well written.  The characters are very believable and you find yourself wanting to know more about them.  I was especially fascinated by the mother's relationship with her son versus her daughter.  It is said that in the African American community mothers love their sons and raise their daughters.  The author completely comprehends that and uses it to her advantage in telling the story.

What didn't you like about this book?
I honestly could not find anything to dislike.

What could the author do to improve this book?
The author provides an excerpt from the follow up book in the back of this book.  I'm going to need her to keep writing so that I can read the sequel sooner than later.

Disclosure: A copy of this book was provided by the author.

401pp
Published March 2010



Theme: Too Late by Rachelle Ferrell

#BookReview: Till You Hear From Me - Pearl Cleage

Fans of this bestselling author will be delighted to find that once again she has returned to the West End neighborhood of Atlanta.  You'll be reintroduced to characters you previously met in Seen It All and Done the Rest, as well as Baby Brother's Blues and several other of Cleage's books.  Using her words in a way that's reminiscent of J. California Cooper's style, readers are introduced to Ida B. Wells Barnett, daughter of a revered preacher and a feminist mother.

Set shortly after the election of President Obama, Till You Hear From Me is the story of Ida B. and her efforts to reconnect with her father.  A civil rights icon in Georgia, "The Rev" campaigned vigorously for the newly elected president, so when he starts making strange statements to the press and on YouTube, Ida is summoned home by her childhood neighbor, Miss Iona.  Having worked on candidate Obama's campaign, Ida fears she could be overlooked for a job in his administration based on her father's strange behavior.  Though he once worked to register 100,000 voters in the state, the Rev began speaking out against the candidate when he distanced himself from his own pastor, Reverend Wright.

Wes Harper grew up in the West End and couldn't wait to leave.  Departing for boarding school at thirteen, he never looked back.  While others celebrate the win of the newly elected president, Wes is working on a way to benefit from it.  Having no loyalty to anyone or anything other than his bank account, he'll stop at nothing to get his hands on the list of recently registered voters, even if it means deceiving his father's oldest and dearest friend.

I was so excited about reading this book that I went through it in a little over two hours.  Cleage is consistently good with her work and I've yet to be bored by anything she produces.  The reintroduction of former characters is always welcome and makes me want to revisit her past works just to read about them once more. She has created a neighborhood big enough to tell everyone's story without being repetitive, while allowing her returning characters to be a part of the story without taking over it.

What did you like about this book?
I loved the father-daughter relationship between Ida and her father.  Her parents are separated and even though she speaks with both of them, you can tell that her relationship with her father is a very special one.


What did you dislike about this book?
The ending felt a bit rushed and slightly anti-climatic.


What could the author do to improve this book?
 Slow down and give the reader a meatier ending.  That being said, I'm looking forward to, and hoping there is, another "West End" book.

288pp
Published April 2010

#BookReview: Wildflowers - Lyah Beth LeFlore

St. Louis native, Lyah Beth LeFlore, has delivered another winner. Co-author of Eddie and Gerald Levert's I Got Your Back, Ms. LeFlore is consistent with her writing and does a fantastic job of capturing her audience.

Though Wildflowers follows the lives of three mothers and their adult daughters, it is Chloe Davis Michaels who really shines. Living the good life in LA, Chloe begins to question herself when she realizes that she's approaching her mid-30s without a prospective husband in sight. This makes her easy prey for the good looking and smooth talking Gregorry Robinson III. Two months into their marriage, the one her family warned her about, things start to fall apart and when Chloe gets a call from the bank, she realizes that Gregorry has emptied out their joint account and stolen all of her money. As if that weren't devastating enough, Chloe loses the baby she was carrying. Determined to get herself together, she heads home to St. Louis and her family.

It's back in St. Louis that the reader is introduced to Chloe's sisters Fawn, who's in love with her pastor while rejecting her doctor husband; and Eve, suffering from low self-esteem with the degrading boyfriend to prove it. We also meet their cousins Ceci, a loud and boisterous hair stylist/postal worker/barmaid with a penchant for men, booze and cocaine, raised by a mother that only wanted the best for her; and Thora, an out of town cousin that keeps her distance in order to keep peace in her heart and home, raised by the distant, Billye Jean.

At first I was skeptical about keeping all of the characters straight, since there were so many, but Ms. LeFlore does an excellent job of giving them their own distinct voices. You'll find yourself rooting for each woman and recognizing the strength in women that surely lies within your own family.

#BookReview: Color Me Butterfly - L.Y. Marlow

Color Me Butterfly is the true story of a Philadelphia family living through four generations of mental and physical abuse. It's not until a potential victim takes steps to save herself and, in turn, her daughter, that the cycle is broken. The book focuses on one member of each generation that is a victim of abuse, but never a perpetrator. I guess I would have liked to know if any of the members abused because of their abuse. This is a quick read with a happy ending.