Guest Post: Commercial Music

In my 16 years of life, a great deal of things (including but not limited to: my family, my friends, strangers, celebrities, and everyday life in general) have managed to make me extremely angry. But the latest offender to make it on to my 'Things to Get Revenge Against' list is Tide. Yes, that's right. A friggin' laundry detergent has managed to further my progression into an angry black woman (the official countdown to September 8, 2014 has commenced).

You may be wondering what could cause me to be so angry at the Tide company. Did they test some new products on third world orphans and give them some terrible case of hives? Did their CEO say something racist? Well, that's entirely possible. I don't watch the news so all that could've happened and I wouldn't even know (if it did happen my, conscience can be clear because I don't even use Tide). No, what has me so enraged is their latest commercial; so, really, I guess I'm mad at their PR company.

In case you haven't seen it, the commercial is about their latest detergent, which is specially formulated to run in cold water and, therefore, use less energy. The inner child and music lover in me could really care less about the good-natured environmental benefits. They're more concerned with the song running in the background: 'Rebirth of Slick (Cool Like Dat)' by Digable Planets. The first time I saw/heard that commercial, I swear I died a little inside and every time since. It wasn't until ten minutes ago when I was sitting in a Chinese food restaurant when the doggone thing came on the TV again that I finally decided enough was enough.

WHAT WAS THAT CRAP?

Of course, I've already had my own vocal rant with my personal argument backboard (my mother) and she, of course, responded with, "Well, the song is 16 years old."

I, of course, responded with, "So?"

In blowing my poor mother's response clearly out of proportion, I came to the conclusion that, in a few weeks, when I turn 16, people are allowed to use me in commercials no matter how stupid it makes me look (love ya, ma). I'm waiting for the day somebody figures out a way to use Prince's 'Purple Rain' on a commercial so I can respond with, "Mom, it is 25 years old."

I'm not necessarily opposed to using songs in commercials. In some cases, like Bacardi's latest using Matt and Kim's 'Daylight', it's alright (let's ignore the fact that I'm underage and I’ve seen all the multiple edited versions of the commercial because I keep watching late night TV). I like the song, the commercial is artfully done, unlike the Tide commercial the song is edited well so it doesn't sound as choppy, and, most importantly, THE SONG IS NEW (relatively).





Using new songs in commercials allows the television viewing audience to hear songs that they may not have heard if their local radio station offers little-to-no variety (hint, hint, St. Louis). Using older songs, however, only makes people like me who actively listen to music suffer for a month and a half while the thing is circulation. Need I remind you of 'This Will Be' and eHarmony (and the fact that you can’t hear that song without cringing)? I thought not.

I'd just like to point out that the minute I finished this, the music video just came on my TV. God must really love irony (and making me angry).

--Jordan is a sixteen year old high school junior (and my kid), interested in TV and her headphones. Her life goals include making it through Titanic without falling asleep and finally getting a decent score in skee-ball. She has a full time job as a sarcastic commentator for everyday life and a part time job of trying to make it through said life.

Repost from August 2009